Effective discipline is nothing more than loving leadership that consists of a point of view, an attitude. In the USA the loving in old-fashioned loving leadership has been all but completely replaced by indulging, enabling, and rescuing, and leadership has been displaced by the desire for a close parent-child relationship. True love strengthens. True love must sometimes say, "No, I won't help you. You can do that on your own" and stand firm in the face of the child's demand that his delusions of helplessness be acknowledged and indulged. The parent who understands that child rearing is leadership also understands that a leader cannot be a friend to someone he leads. Friendship cancels leadership. When young, the child needs a parent who is a leader. When the child is an adult, the child needs a parent who is a friend. Always keep in mind: You are not raising a child. You are raising an adult. What sort of adult do you want? A child who is disciplined effectively will grow to love both the leader and the leadership. He will obey because he has discovered - but cannot explain - that his parents' love and their discipline are one and the same.